Transformers: Flashback to Present

"HELL YA-Y"

"Transformers" (2007) directed by Michael Bay

Don't believe all the hoopla out there? Still debating if you should see this film or not? Or you saw it and want to know if others feel like you? Don't trust the critics. Don't trust the fans. Whatever the reason, get it here. From a non-fan, unprofessional critic! Because if I liked it (and I don't like a lot of things), well then that definitely speaks for itself.

Let me take you back. Way back. Back into time. Back in the era of spandex, Aquanet, and blue eyeshadow. Bright neon colors and tight, high-water pants and where hair bangs grew higher and higher into the Ozone Layer: the 80's.

I used to think, "So, what's the big deal about Transformers anyway?" Besides being robots who transform into things to save the world. Yada, yada, yada. All I remember is skipping over this channel trying to find some other cheesy cartoon to waste my childhood away. I couldn't tell you the names of the good guys and bad guys to save my life, but I could sing along to all the songs of Alvin and the Chipmunks. I never understood the meaning behind machines with personalities, but the Smurfs were little blue creatures with real emotions. Gimme a break so I was a troubled kid, but let's just say that back in the day I could care less about a "boyish" trend.

Now, fast forward to present day. You'd think I'd be the last person standing in line to witness such a spectacle, but free tickets makes you do crazy things. So there I was stuck and just as clueless as I was twenty some years ago, surrounded by people who looked like they just rolled out of bed and grabbed the first thing they saw! Everywhere I turned, people were sportin' their gear, playing the jingle, "More Than Meets the Eye" on their cell phones and quoting famous lines from the series. One guy even reminisced over how he and his friends would run home right when the school bell rang just to make it in time to watch the show and I couldn't even name a character! Two decades later and it seems nothing's changed.

The media and not to mention the hardcore fanatics have been "ooing and awing" over the thought of bringing the original animated series to the big screen. Then suddenly, t-shirts and other memorabilia items with the infamous face logo popped up at retail outlets everywhere. Miniature mechanical figurines made of plastic instead of metal crowded every toy store. These robots were back and this time they had an even bigger marketing tool behind them: General Motors. So I figured, this movie is just a cool car commercial stretched out to cover 2 1/2 hours. As you can tell, I had very low expectations and had absolutely no idea what was going to happen. All in all, I was just hoping to be entertained by a movie with no real purpose.

First of all, you gotta go in expecting to watch an action-packed, adventure full of surprises and wide-eyed special effects. What more can you ask for from director Michael Bay and executive producer Steven Spielberg? Here's the gist: Boy (Shia LaBeouf) buys car to attract girl (Megan Fox). Car turns into a good robot to protect boy. Why, you ask? This boy happens to be the grandson of the first explorer ever to lay eyes on a Transformer. And what he'll soon realize is that he possesses the only link to finding the All Spark cube (a force field able to turn any machine into a robot). So who are the good guys? The Autobots trying to guard the human race from the evil Decipticons. Why are they evil? Their mission is to wipe out all of humanity so that their world can flourish once again. Following along so far?

In less than 10-minutes, this film kicks-start into highspeed! Giving the robots a time to showoff their skills and tranforming abilities. And yes, most of it happens so fast that if you blink you miss vital details. And yes, the story is a little shakey and the only real star may just be LeBeouf who does an awesome job, bringing in comic relief and having the audience actually care for the characters, real or not. But who cares? HAVE FUN WITH IT. Let yourself go and see where it takes you.