Falling Into The Descent

I hate to say it, but YAY

Horror movies. Such thrills, such chills...but it's the aftermath of seeing such ghostly images in the middle of the night that kills me. I have vowed never ever to see another scarey movie since the pale, white faces of an unnecessary Japanese remake came onto the big screen. So why did I make such an exception this time around? Guess never say never, right? Well, what's the big deal anyway? I mean, a plot evolving around a bunch of females taking on the lead to do something adventurous doesn't seem like a bad idea. Finally, a movie with more than just ditsy blonde girls, screaming their scrawny asses off, running barefoot without a bra on, in a see-through baby tee, bobbling left and right in the woods. Almost always after a naked sex scene in which her scared-shitless boyfriend gets butchered. Cold and predictable. This time, no men. At least no "real" ones. Just enough detail to get your heart racing a mile a minute. The setting, a cave, truly draws us in. Even if I know I'd never put myself in that position I felt like I was there! Peering around dark corners, grabbing onto jagged edges, hearing the eerie sounds of dripping water... oh, and by the way, did I mention that it's infested with man-eating ghouls? Yet what gets me the most is that the extremely suspenseful, "oh shit!" parts occur through Sara's haunting illusions and her sudden confrontation with Juno, the mistress of the film. The hideous creatures don't even appear until close to the end. That just happens to be the rotten cherry ontop of a pretty fucked up situation. Now don't get me wrong. Those things ain't something you want to see anytime soon, but it's not the premise of this movie at all. Half-way into the film, you realize that they were crazy enough to venture into an undiscovered cave by Juno, ah the sinful Asian beauty, the character you hate to love. This manipulative, slick back, ponytailed brunette dragged her naive, white friends into what turns out to be a death trap. The originality of it isn't even how real the wretched demons look or the gruesome deaths of each character. It's simply the mere thought of what it would be like to be in the girls' shoes. Squishing through narrow tunnels, losing a bag of supplies, no maps, no real way out. Frantic. Flustered. And then suddenly alone. Heartbroken Sara gets the shit-end of the stick when she comes face to face with her true enemy, but fortunately, for me I had my eyes closed.